


Absit Omen

by That_Familiar_Feeling



Series: Kuro Week 2k17 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ((I feel like that tag is relevant but i don't know)), Blood, Intrusive Thoughts, Kuro Week 2k17, Mention of Death, Multiple Personalities, Semi Graphic Violent Thoughts, Short Story, Strong Language, Torture, to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 12:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11231370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Familiar_Feeling/pseuds/That_Familiar_Feeling
Summary: Absit Omen/ˌabsəd ˈōmən/exclamation:used to express the hope that a reference to something undesirable should not foreshadow its arrival or occurrence.Written for Kuro week!This is Day One: Madness ((very loosely used as prompting insp))Kuro dealing with thoughts, for the good and the bad.





	Absit Omen

__

The thoughts came as naturally to him as every unnatural thing did when he was “born”.

He woke up, and the first thing in his head wasn’t “Where am I?” “What’s going on?”.

It was, _scream. Scream and fight them off and don’t stop fighting. Lash out with your arm and cut them down._  

He’d tried. Following what he thought was his own mind. He doesn’t remember a lot from the first day besides the body slumping to the ground beside him and the hot press of electricity against his neck. He learned quickly that One: He needed to follow  _ their _ orders. And Two: The thoughts were never  _ his _ .

 

For a while he didn’t know who was who. Where he started and someone else began. He was existing, scuttled around room to room and told what to do, told who he was but not  _ who he was _ .

They prepared him for something...and then threw him to the wolves.

 

He went into the arena blind. Mind swimming sideways and limbs uncoordinated

He stared down the face of death with nothing but fear…

And then the voice came back. One that felt far far too familiar.

_ Survive. _

 

For months...that’s all he did. 

He learned to fight with whatever he had. His hands, half broken weapons. And his mind.

_ Dodge. Kick. Run. A blow here will incapacitate but won’t kill _ .  _ It’s okay to kill them...it’s okay..you have to… _

The thoughts kept him alive. They made him strong enough to get past the test phases and primary experiments.

_ Be quiet. Don’t scream. Don’t flinch. Don’t look her in the eye. Don’t think about… _

He never questioned it. He listened as faithfully to the thoughts like they were his own.

He very quietly found out they weren’t.

 

Trapped in a room, curled up on a thin piece of bedding and pressing against the frigid wall.He’d been in the dark for days already...he was hungry and his ears were ringing from the silence.

_ The sky always turns pink first before the stars come out.  _

He was startled out of his dozing. Wracking his brain to try and picture whatever just came to him. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t fully grasp it.

_ The city was so much louder than the base...the people here are too serious. _

Who? What city...he struggled to pull apart the half formed thoughts and piece them together.

 

Hour by hour...he would sit in his own thoughts until a new one popped up.

He learned that way.

Learned about  _ Him. _

_ Takashi...home...family..training, parents, missions, Keith, tests, flights, Keith, Matt, birthday party, video calls, Sam, Matt, KEITH.  _

By the time they came for him...Kuro was fully aware of what he was. 

He separated his thoughts. Taught himself how to pack them into designations and places that kept him sane.

_ The champion  _ was what kept him alive. It made his hell bearable, and lessened the number of wounds he received.

_ Takashi _ was painful. Vivid flashes of places that were there but not. People who he knew but couldn’t speak of. Words, words, words...so many thoughts from a man who thought he was  _ dying _ . 

 

He learned very quickly that many of his thoughts were not his own.

 

And then, all of a sudden...one day they were. 

It was like a flipped switch. Coming face to face with Atlas after hefting the burden to his own shoulders. The minute he saw Shiro.. _ Shiro...not Takashi...Takashi is still dead. _

He knew then and there...that whatever he had been before was no completely rewritten again. 

Shiro must have had his own epiphany...they way he just  _ accepted _ that Kuro was coming along with him. Something must clicked for both of them.

 

The months after that were wilder. Bright rooms and people with kind, softer faces.

Kuro struggled with it at first. So used to being inside his own head that the silence was threatening to break him again. 

But he managed. Tried to.

He had some help, the Paladins, they did what they could. He learned who Keith was and understand why he had felt so..guilty...whenever he recalled the name. The same could be said about Pidge...and the family he had no right to know so much of.

 

They helped him to start over. Start picking up pieces to make himself with.And it worked for a while.

 

So when a thought came back to him and told him to  _ wrap his hand around Lance’s neck...hold it tight and snap it like a baby birds.. _

He was sent reeling, skittering away and staring horrified at the way his hands twitched like they  _ wanted  _ to do it. Lance watching with dawning fear and concern…

Kuro ran away that night...needed to be alone to deal with terrifying new voice in his head.

When he came back, they hadn’t gone away.

 

_ Open the airlock and watch them go flying.  _

_ Pidge is so small...you could easily hurt them. _

_ Allura looks so regal on the steps...you should push her down. _

_ What if  _ You _ ejected yourself into space?  _

_ If you have Keith pinned during a spar...you should break his arm. _

_ Lance is smiling at you...would he smile while he bled? _

_ Would Hunk cry if you shot him right now? _

 

“Stop it…” he mumbled, turning over and pulling the blanket over his head.

It was too damn early to be dealing with this right now.

_ They could easily choke on their food..you should.. _

“Stooop...got the fuck the sleep asshole.” Kuro growled at thin air and buried his face into his pillow. Too..damn..early…

 

He was getting used to it now Talked to Lance and Coran and a VERY worried Shiro.

_ Intrusive. _

He was given a name and a reason.Told that they were most likely side effects left over from when he was still a Galran prisoner. Shiro had sworn up and down that he was fine..more or less.

That he still had control over himself...that it was their fault whenever the thoughts would pop up.

Turns out...Shiro had his own demons no one knew about.

 

Now a days, Kuro would press them back or retort to them with something snarky.

 

_ You should claw Pidge _

“And deal with the tiny gremlin’s wrath? No thanks.”

_ What if we broke Coran’s tools… _

“What’s the point of that when he practically picks them out of thin air? Try something a little more constructive…”

_ We should undermine Shiro...create doubt in the team… _

“Or we could, I don’t know..sleep. Like they should be doing. They do enough undermining on their own to be fair..”

The smaller thoughts came and went and he got better at controlling them.

On bad days...he would wake up in a cold sweat and fill the need to claw at things… or trap his hands in his pockets to keep from hurting people unintentionally. One time he had actually gone to move for a weapon and forced himself to bit his own hand. That was a particularly bad day.

The ideas still came to him regularly. But he was encouraged to talk about them. Even go so far as to announced them, if only to have the team prevent him from doing something stupid like throw a cup at the wall or purposefully get himself hurt.

 

The thoughts came more naturally. And they didn’t make his stomach recoil the same way as the used to…

 

_ We could bite him right now and draw blood and and and _

“Thanks Dracula...really selling me that pitch…” Kuro mumbled, half asleep and draped over Lance’s lap.

Lance looked away from his datapad with a quirked brow,” Hm? What was that?”

Kuro groaned and rolled around, wrapping his arms loosely around Lance’s waist.

“Mmmm...thought about biting you. And not the fun kind.”

Lance nodded, running a hand through Kuro’s hair and taking the news with grace. “Oh, rude thoughts huh? Dracula though?”

Kuro gave a weak shrug and laughed, “Chupacabra next time okay?”

Lance laughed and nodded. And just like the the urge dissipated. 

For now, Kuro was content to know that he wasn’t lost to his own mind...being driven mad but endless thoughts of pain and violence. For now, he could settled down and sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Day one good to go. Most of these will be short and based off simple words that make up the titles. They will each follow the prompts loosely and probably be chock full of personal headcanons.
> 
> As always, I love hearing your guys thoughts ((lol ironic)) so don't be afraid to comment.


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